Life

Life I am finding rather difficult at the moment...
...I am unemployed, desperate to be used by God in mission and ministry...yet not actually doing much, rattling around our house with my wife and children and having various challenges in that department and struggling to stay focussed, motivated, productive and in a good state of mind.
I've not actually been this low I think for a very long time.

I have managed to do quite a few tasks that have sat undone for far too long, spent some good time with the children and my wife, helped run the household, been actively looking for employment while praying and listening for God's voice about our role. Some excercise also helps keep the right mood altering chemicals flowing through my body!

But this is a challenging period. I am unsettled and dissatisfied with the status quo. We need some changes and yet quite frankly I'm not clear what they need to be. Though a little disconcerting I'm ok with that though. I figure only out of such a state does new order and form come. So my job is to negotiate this bridge to the other side. To keep my nerve as clouds obscure the way and the bridge sways and winds around while having few favourable qualities of it's own. What is true is that God watches over me and guides my paths. Yes, we have decisions to be made but He is faithful and we will come out the other side into something!

Jesus, please guide us, hold us, lead us. We are yours, use us. You know our desires and passions, weaknesses and blind spots. Illuminate and reveal... In your time. We love you. We need you. You are our world.